Best Friends
by Esme
Summary: Best friends come and go, and people's lives are changed forever.


Title: Best Friends  
Author: Esme  
Date: 29th August 1999  
Category: ??  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Water Rats. The characters in this story that you recognise probably belong to Hal McElroy, Southern Star and the Nine Network. If there are characters you do not recognise, then they belong to me [so don't steal them unless you ask me first].  
  
Author's Notes: This was my first real fic, and it's a longish one. It was written when we knew Rachel was leaving us, but before she actually did. I'm pretty proud of this one actually.  
  
  
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Best Friends  
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Prologue  
"If it's wet, it's ours!" is the catchcry of the Sydney Water Police as they battle to keep their harbour safe for the thousands of locals who use it every day, whether for work or play.  
  
Beneath its surface exists a playground for the murky underworld; a place of illicit rubbish dumps, pollution hazards, the remnants of huge drug hauls, and a graveyard of bodies from years of suicides, accidents and murders. That's the world of the Water Rats, an elite group of brave men and women guarding the harbour against all the elements that threaten to foul the blue waters.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Detective Senior Constable Rachel Goldstein walked into the office and dropped down into her chair. She was thinking that 9am was too early to start work on a Monday morning, especially after she'd had a busy weekend with David (her 11-year-old son). Then Helen Blakemore poked her head around the door. 'Helen is always punctual and organised and fresh' Rachel thought jealously, but then Helen didn't have an 11-year-old.  
"Floater, middle harbour," said Helen. "Jack's on his way, Mick's there already. Tommy and Gavin are waiting in the Nemesis"  
"Better go join the party," said Rachel, all the time wishing she were at home in bed.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Rachel and her partner - Detective Jack Christey, arrived at the same time and Jack looked as bad as Rachel felt.   
"Morning Goldie." Jack didn't often use Rachel's nickname, but this morning he was trying to sound casual, light-hearted and cheerful, when in fact he was feeling lousy.  
"Big weekend?" she asked innocently.  
"Yeah right," was Jack's reply, then with his suggestive smile he said "I was a bit lonely, you know, pining for some company."  
"Oh, poor you," sympathised Rachel.  
"Yeah, so I was thinking maybe tonight."  
But there was no time for Jack to finish because the third detective of the Water Police, Michael Riley, was beckoning for them to come and look at the body.   
  
"So, what've you got for us Mick?" Rachel tried to sound energetic, but it was hard.   
Michael gave a nod in greeting "Jack, Goldie. A woman, early thirties. Her hands have been tied and Chopper says cause of death could be drowning but she has had a nasty blow to the back of her head."  
Chopper Lewis was examining the body. "Anything else you can tell us?" asked Jack.  
"I'd estimate time of death to be about 8 hours ago, I think there has been sexual intercourse, but I can't tell you much more until I get the body up on the slab."  
"Thanks Chopper," said Goldie, "Can you turn the body over so we can have a look? Is there any ID Mick?"  
"Yeah, there is in fact - her warrant card. She's a cop - Detective Senior Constable Clare."  
"Clare Patricia Gordon." Rachel had gone strangely white when the body had been turned over, and Jack put out his arm to catch her, but she wasn't the fainting type. Everyone looked at her with a questioning look. "We were at the academy together," was all Rachel replied.   
  
Rachel walked away and looked out over the water. 'Don't cry' she thought. 'Not here, not now.' She heard Jack behind her and with a deep breath she turned around. Jack was hesitant and Rachel was willing him not to say anything deep and meaningful. All he said was "I'm going back now. Do you want a lift or will you go back in the Nemesis?"  
"No, I'll come with you."  
  
Jack was very particular about his new car, but he decided this was not the time to ask Rachel if she had clean shoes. Oh well, he could always get the carpet cleaned. The trip back to the Water Police headquarters was eerily silent. Goldie was not willing to talk and Jack didn't know what to say, so he decided it was safer to say nothing.   
  
~~~~~   
  
You're the bravest of hearts  
You're the strongest of souls  
You're my light in the dark  
You're the place I call home  
You can say it's all right  
But I know that you're breaking up inside  
I see it in your eyes  
Even you face the night  
Afraid and alone  
That's why I'll be there   
  
~~~~~   
  
By the time they got back it was mid-morning, "Coffee?" asked Jack. "Yeah," replied Rachel. It was a sunny day, so they got their coffee and went and sat up on top of the Water Police building. Again there was silence, but this time it wasn't uncomfortable. They just sat there and looked out over the water, they found that this was a great way to get a bit of time out in the middle of their hectic days.   
  
Jack was just about to ask Rachel about Clare Gordon, but he didn't have to because she spoke first. "Clare was my closest friend at the academy. We were.. best friends."   
Jack had never seen this side of Rachel. She never talked about her friends, he didn't even know if she had any close female friends. He couldn't picture her as the type to talk for hours on the phone or write gossipy letters. There was more quiet, then Goldie went on. "She was my bridesmaid as well. After I was married I lost contact with a lot of my friends, but Clare and I stayed really close. We were 'Goldstein and Gordon' - couldn't trust us near the shops. Then I had David and I had less time, and then my divorce and I got so involved with my work that one day I realised I'd lost contact with her. We've seen each other occasionally since, but I don't think I've seen her for more than two years."  
  
There was so much regret in Rachel's voice. Jack wanted to say something but he couldn't think of anything; Rachel wouldn't have heard him anyway, she was staring off into the distance and remembering times gone by. Jack felt privileged but scared that she was opening up this much to him. He knew she was the 'cool and composed' type and she never revealed her feelings to anyone, this had obviously shaken her up. He sat there looking at her and reminded himself how attractive she really was.   
  
~~~~~   
  
You're the one I'm dreamin of  
I can't live without your love  
Tonight  
And it's you that I adore  
You're the one that I live for  
Inside   
  
~~~~~   
  
Goldie snapped out of her reverie and looked at Jack, "What?" she asked playfully.  
"Oh, nothing."  
"Nothing. Yeah right. You were looking at me with that look of yours." Rachel had locked her feelings away in a box and was back to her normal self.   
"What look? I don't have a look."  
"Yes you do. It's that look you have when you're dreaming about having sex with me."  
"I don't dream about having sex with you."  
"You always do. You told me so yourself."  
"Rach, why would I dream about having sex with you?"  
"Because you're addicted to me. It's a habit - you can't give up."   
"I am not addicted to you. There's plenty of other women out there." They were standing so close together that their bodies were almost touching.   
"Mmmm, I remember you saying that before - 'plenty of fish in the sea'. Except, I don't see you chasing after any of these other fish."  
"I'm not the chasing type, you know, I watch from the shadows and then pounce."  
"You wanna know the truth? You can't live without me." She moved away, she was teasing him. He pulled her back towards him, "You're right, I can't live without you," and he kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Remember this morning when I mentioned tonight? Well, you know, I'm not doing anything, so I was wondering if you'd like to come over and maybe we could crack open a bottle of wine and. who knows?"  
"Yeah. Yeah I think I'll be in on that." Rachel smiled her cute smile that Jack loved, but they quickly pulled away as they heard someone coming up the stairs.   
  
It was Helen, having a rare morning break. First she looked at the two detectives suspiciously, but they looked so innocent that she decided Rachel must have taken her advice about cops and cops not mixing. Then she looked anxiously at Rachel. "Are you all right?" Helen was the sensible and organised type. She was a very good Senior Sergeant and although many younger cops were scared of her at first, they soon found out that although she seemed strict and severe, she was actually really nice and she worried and cared about her colleagues.   
"Yeah, I'll be okay," and Rachel meant it.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Jack, Rachel and Helen sat in the sunshine drinking their coffee, talking and gazing out over the harbour. Usually they worked every hour of the day, but today Goldie was putting off getting stuck into this case. Although she was determined to catch Clare's killer, she wanted a few more minutes of time out before she started to tackle this incident. Jack knew that he should let Rachel do this in her own time, and he had no problem with lazing about drinking coffee. Helen didn't usually get many breaks so she decided to make the most of this one. So ten minutes later all three members of the police force were still on the roof when they noticed a yacht heading in their direction.   
  
"Looks like we've got a visitor - nice yacht," was Helen's remark.   
Jack was beginning to feel very relaxed and even sleepy, and visitors usually meant work so he was not too pleased at this news. "It's probably some rich idiot with more money than he knows what to do with and a boat bigger than he needs, and he's come to make a complaint about some poor fisherman who's just trying to make a living."  
"And you know all this before you've even opened your eyes and seen the boat. You're more talented than I thought." Helen smiled sweetly at Jack and he just returned the smile and then looked over at Rachel who (not for the first time that day) was extraordinarily quiet. She had moved over to the railing and was concentrating hard on the boat. Then she suddenly ran down the stairs.   
  
Helen and Jack took another look at the boat and couldn't see anything significant about it. It was just a yacht named Footloose. The name sounded oddly familiar to Helen, but she came into contact with many boats every day, so this was probably just one of them. Jack and Helen knew Rachel well enough to know that she didn't usually run for no reason - especially when she was wearing heels and a short skirt.  
  
By the time they got down to the bottom of the stairs, Rachel was already at the end of the wharf and waiting for the boat. As Jack and Helen walked down towards Rachel, the yacht came in and tied up. Without waiting to stow the sails or make everything ship-shape as a good sailor should, the lone yachtsman jumped off his boat and greeted Rachel with a warm embrace. Then he looked into her eyes and said a hearty but tender "Hello Goldie."  
  
Suddenly Helen recognised who this stranger was. "Frank!?!"  
"Helen! As perfect as ever." Frank greeted Helen with a kiss and then gave a friendly nod towards her companion, "Jack."  
When Helen had called Frank's name, Jack had suddenly become alert. He didn't know much about Frank but he knew that Rachel (as much as she had tried to hide it) had been very upset when he left. Jack had thought that maybe he was in competition with Frank, the prize being Rachel. He had been under the impression that Frank had sailed off to Venezuela and wasn't expected back, especially not so soon.  
  
So Jack was not expecting this, but he was determined to be as normal as possible. In his suave and sophisticated way he greeted Frank with a handshake. "Hello Frank. Long time, no see." Not that they had seen much of each other in the first place, but it seemed like an appropriate remark.   
"Yeah, well I was passing and thought I might drop in and say hi to some of my old friends." Frank flashed his charming smile and then took Helen by the arm, "Come on sweetheart, get me a cup of coffee."  
  
Goldie stood there trying to hide her overflowing feelings of excitement, but the smile from ear to ear was a dead give away. Jack took one look at her and decided that he had never seen her so happy before. He walked away, trying to suppress his feelings of jealousy.   
  
Rachel watched him leave and suddenly a whole wave of feelings took over her body. The extreme happiness was joined by sadness, love, guilt, confusion, longing and so many other emotions that she didn't quite know whether to laugh or cry. She realised she was standing alone, and quickly made her way up to the Water Police building.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Inside, work had been forgotten. They whole of Sydney could have been taken over by crime and no one at the Sydney Water Police Headquarters would have noticed. Frank was greeting all the ladies with a kiss and all the men with firm handshakes. Rachel noted that Frank was kissing everyone else but he hadn't kissed her. She didn't have time to process this thought any further, as the whole station was abuzz with excitement and everyone was telling her how great it was to see Frank again - as if she didn't know.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Later, when the general buzz had died down, Frank went looking for Rachel. She was really the reason he had come back, and so far all he had said to her was 'hello'. No one seemed to mind him being there, they treated him just like he had only been away holiday. Whereas technically, he had sort of left the police force. He went up the stairs towards the detectives' office. On the way he noticed a few changes.  
  
Inside the office Jack, Mick and Rachel were all working hard. Mick was finishing a report for the last case they had been working on; Jack was on the phone to Detective Clare Gordon's station; and Rachel was reading through the information that Chopper had sent over. The cause of Clare's death was the blow to the back of her head and the weapon used was some sort of hammer. She had also been raped. They were still examining the body and running more tests to see what else they could find.   
  
Frank walked into the office and again noted that quite a bit had changed since he had left. There were now three desks instead of just his and Goldie's desk - and Jack's desk looked a lot different to what it had looked like when it had belonged to Frank.  
  
Rachel looked up at Frank. The incredible grin that had been on her face earlier had faded - especially when she had begun work on this case; it was now replaced by her sweet, playful smile. Frank smiled back and all his doubts as to whether or not he was right to come back were gone. Just seeing Rachel again was enough.   
  
~~~~~   
  
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly  
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere  
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly   
  
~~~~~   
  
Sailing out in the middle of the ocean had been an amazing experience, but there was always one thing that he wanted. There had been many nights when he had gazed up at the stars and wished Rachel could be with him. Even if she was only there as a friend, he just missed her companionship. Working together so much over the years had made them very close - they had been best friends.   
  
Frank had been told about the case the detectives were working on and he remembered briefly meeting Clare many years ago. He looked down at Goldie, "I'm sorry you know, about Clare."  
"Yeah. I know. Thanks."  
For just a moment their eyes locked (like they had so many times before) and Frank saw the deep down hurt in Rachel's eyes. She was covering up her feelings and putting on her happy face, as she so often did. He was worried about her, "Will you be okay?"  
"I'll be fine. I just want to get this case out of the way." Rachel looked down at her work. She felt confused. She always felt scared when Frank looked into her eyes like he just had, and yet her heart was strangely fluttering. She mentally pushed it all aside and focused all her attention on the paper in front of her.   
  
Frank felt uneasy in the room - especially with Jack, and suddenly remembered that he still hadn't put his boat in order. He excused himself and went off to see what he could do.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Towards the end of the day the detectives had gotten nowhere on Clare Gordon's murder. Being a cop, she had hundreds of enemies but none stood out as having more of a grudge than the others. Rachel, Mick and Jack had talked to Clare's family, friends, and colleagues and had found nothing unusual. They had looked all through her house, and again drew a blank.   
  
Then just as they were about to call it a day, Helen came in with some news. "The divers have found a hammer." This could be the lead they needed. Chopper looked at the hammer and said that this was most likely the weapon that was used to kill Clare Gordon.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Frank had spent all afternoon on his boat. After sailing out at sea for half the year, the yacht needed a lot of attention. It was now early evening and this time everyone did call it a day. Frank went up to the office to try and see Rachel again. Mick and Jack were out of the room, for which Frank was glad. Apart for his first ten seconds on land, Frank hadn't had a chance to talk to Rachel by herself. She was wearily organising all the papers on her desk and she didn't hear Frank come in.   
  
He stood there looking at her for a few seconds and then coughed. Rachel jumped at the sound, and then mentally kicked herself for being so much on edge. She had been way off with the fairies as she had been so many other times that day. She felt uneasy and didn't know what to say, which was a new feeling because she never used to feel uncomfortable around Frank. They'd worked together for so long that she was used to having him around. They had been like brother and sister, or more like best friends.  
  
"How's the boat going?" asked Rachel, glad she could finally think of something to say.   
"Good. Yeah, I got quite a bit done during the afternoon. How's the case?" He knew she probably didn't want to talk about it, but it was polite to ask.  
"Oh, you know, getting nowhere fast - as usual."  
"Yeah. Look, how about we go and have a drink or a bite to eat or something." Frank was running out of things to say, and he decided that it was always easier to talk over a meal or a drink.  
"Ummm, sure. That'd be great. I'll meet you downstairs in about ten minutes." Just then Jack walked back into the room.   
"Great," said Frank, as he made his exit.   
  
Rachel smiled awkwardly at Jack, and then kept tidying her desk. Jack had only heard 'I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes' but it was enough to make him fill up with envy again. He sat down at his desk and pretended to be working.   
  
When Goldie had finished organising her desk, she looked over at Jack. He looked like he was working hard, but she felt like he was ignoring her. She coughed loudly, but he didn't look up. She walked over and stood in front of his desk. He finished what he was writing and then looked up at her in a very business-like manner. "Oh, are you off?" was his innocent inquiry.   
"Yeah. Umm, you know earlier today, up on the roof, about me coming over and us opening a bottle of wine?" Goldie did not know how to say this.  
"Mmmmm?" Jack was again pretending to work while he listened.  
Rachel was getting very annoyed by the way he was treating her, but she went on. "Well, I was thinking, maybe I could take a raincheck on that one." She was trying to sound off-hand, but she wasn't sure if it was working. "Because, well Frank's back and I haven't seen him for a while, so we're going to catch up over a drink or something Ummm, you could join us if you want."  
"No, no. That's fine. Don't worry about tonight. You should catch up with Frank. We'll get together some other time." Jack was trying to suppress the jealousy that was building up inside of him.   
"Okay," said Goldie. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."   
  
~~~~~   
  
Rachel was extremely glad to get out of the office and away from Jack. She couldn't think why he was treating her the way he was. Except maybe 'Don't be stupid', she thought. Why would Jack be jealous that Frank was back?  
  
Frank was waiting outside in the twilight. He had changed out of his sailing clothes, for which Goldie was glad, because she was wearing one of her suits as she did every day, and didn't have anything casual to change into. They had to take Rachel's car, because all Frank had was a yacht, and that wasn't going to get them to a bar.  
  
They decided to avoid the Cutter Bar, as Frank didn't think he could handle being the centre of attention and telling stories all night. Well, that's what Frank told Rachel, but of course his real reason was that he wanted to spend some time alone with Goldie. So they chose another bar that they had often gone to before when trying to avoid the rest of their colleagues.  
  
Frank ordered their normal poisons - his scotch and Rachel's beer. This set them both at ease at once, they may not have seen each other for a while, but some things never change. It had only been about six months, but they still had a lot to catch up on.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Rachel had received a few postcards from Frank, so she knew that he'd been past Coffs Harbour, Brisbane and Cairns, but that was about all she knew. Clearly he hadn't got to Venezuela as he had planned, but he'd had a few adventures anyway. He had basically sailed right up the coast of Australia to Cape York, and then sailed back down. Obviously for it to have taken him six months he had stopped for a while here and there along the way.  
  
He told Rachel about some of the adventures and the misadventures he'd had on his trip, but after a while he got sick of talking and wanted to hear about how Goldie had been. As usual, she felt embarrassed talking about herself and the good and bad things that had happened, so she talked mainly about work.  
  
Eventually she did talk a bit about herself when she told Frank about David being kidnapped. She told him how frightened she had been, but she didn't tell him really how sick with fear she had felt. It was a feeling only other parents would understand - the anxiety. It was the worst emotion, that's what her dad had said once, because there's no relief - you just don't know.   
She also told Frank about the dangerous encounter that she and Jack had when they were being hunted like animals out in the bush. Of course she didn't mention what had happened afterwards when they were safe at home.   
  
~~~~~   
  
After a couple of drinks and a lot of stories, Frank and Rachel decided to turn in for the night. "Look, I really should get home," said Rachel. "I've had a pretty eventful day, and I've got to be at work on time tomorrow morning."  
"Yeah, of course. I could do with a bit of sleep myself," replied Frank.  
"Where are you sleeping tonight?" Strangely Rachel felt a bit uneasy asking that question.  
"In my boat." Frank answered, very matter-of-factly.  
"Don't be stupid, you can come back to my place." Rachel could not work out why her heart started to beat faster as she asked that question.  
"Oh, no. I wouldn't want to put you out."  
"You wouldn't be putting me out. I can just throw some blankets at the couch. It's got to be more comfortable than sleeping on a boat." She was arguing very hard, but was secretly relieved when Frank gave his answer.   
"Thanks, but no. The boat is actually very comfortable. I'll just get a taxi back"  
"If you want to sleep on your boat, then the least you can do is let me give you a lift back."  
  
They drove back to the Water Police headquarters where the boat was still tied up. Jeff had kindly said that Frank could leave it there for a few days. Rachel got out and walked Frank down to the end of the wharf. He turned to say goodnight and found that the were facing each other - dangerously close. Again their eyes were locked together. Goldie was again uneasy, but she couldn't look away. She felt like she was reading Frank's soul, and if she was looking correctly then she could see longing, admiration, loneliness, and love? Surely not.   
  
~~~~~   
  
If I said I loved you  
Would you stay around me  
Or would you run  
Scared of the power  
Love can become  
If I tried to hold you  
Would I reach to find you gone  
Will there be a day  
You'll stare at real love  
And not turn away   
  
~~~~~   
  
Frank stared back into Goldie's eyes and saw what he always saw. He saw her guardedness, her hurt and pain. He also saw her loneliness as well as the fear of being hurt again. They stood there for what seemed like ages, but was probably only seconds, and it was Frank who eventually averted his eyes and turned away. Goldie stood there feeling vulnerable. She was completely not in control of this situation and it was a feeling she wasn't used to and didn't like.   
  
Frank turned back and smiled and then said a very casual "Goodnight" as he climbed onto his boat. Rachel walked back to her car, mentally trying to pull herself back together. As she drove home she was talking to herself - "This is getting way out of hand Rachel. Get a grip. Cops and cops don't mix." But she knew that if she ignored that advice, it wouldn't be for the first time.   
  
~~~~~   
  
'9am. Still too early to start,' thought Rachel as she dropped into her chair. It had only been 24 hours since she had last done that, but it felt like about two weeks. The three detectives were contemplating where to go with their investigation next, when Helen poked her head round the door. Rachel stood there hoping that the news she was bringing was not like yesterdays. Helen gave them a look that meant 'this is good news'. "The fingerprints have a match," she said, "they belong to a Matthew Browne who has just done time in Victoria for rape and attempted murder."  
  
Tests had been done on the hammer that had been found. Blood and skin had been found on the head of the hammer that matched Clare Gordon's blood and skin. They had also found fingerprints on the handle of the hammer.   
  
Jack looked at Rachel, Rachel looked at Mick, then all three looked at each other and they suddenly felt that this case would be over sooner than they had thought. The heavy feeling that had been in the air that morning was gone. "Let's go have a chat to Mr Browne then." said Jack.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Matthew Browne's house was on a water-front property, not far from where Clare Gordon's body was found. Jack and Goldie went in the Nemesis and Mick drove there in case the suspect tried to escape by road.  
  
When they arrived at the house, an elderly lady answered the door. "Hi, does a Matthew Browne live here?" On the outside Rachel was being quite normal - as polite and friendly as ever. On the inside however, she was desperate to catch Clare's murderer, if it was the last thing she did. Her eyes were cold and full of revenge, and when Jack had seen them he had decided it would be best to let Goldie take the lead in this case.   
  
"Yes. I'm Mary Browne," replied the lady, "I'm Matty's grandmother."  
"Right. I'm Detective Goldstein, this is Detective Christey from the Sydney Water Police. Is your grandson in Mrs Browne? We'd like to have a chat to him."  
"Oh yes. Come in, I'll just call him."  
"Um, if you could just take us to him, that would be fine." Rachel smiled sweetly, although the thoughts whirling through her head could not be considered sweet. But she was determined to be entirely professional and not let her personal feelings get in the way during this investigation.  
  
Mrs Browne took them down the hall, knocked on a door, but entered without waiting for an answer. "Matty, there are some nice detectives here to see you. I expect they will want to ask for some advice or something like that." Mary Browne obviously doted on her grandson, even though he was about thirty years old. He could obviously do no wrong. Jack and Goldie looked at each other, didn't this lady know her grandson had been convicted of rape and attempted murder?  
  
Matthew Browne's head had jerked up at the word 'detectives', but he remained calm and composed. "Thanks Gran, how about you make us a cup of tea?"  
"Oh of course." The old lady smiled at her grandson and the detectives, and went off to the kitchen.   
"Detectives, how can I help you?" Matthew Browne was oozing with charm and charisma, but Goldie and Jack were not impressed.   
"Mr Browne could you tell us where you were on Sunday night? Between about midnight and 2 am." Goldie was not going to waste time.  
"Well of course, I was here, tucked up in bed." He smiled and tried to look as innocent as a child, but Goldie was not convinced.  
"And is there someone who can confirm that?"  
"Well Gran was here of course."  
"But she would have been asleep, right?" This guy was getting on Goldie's nerves.  
"Well, yes. Detective, may I ask what this is about?" The innocence act was beginning to wear thin.  
"We're investigating a rape and murder, Mr Browne." Goldie was very graceful as she delivered this news, and Matthew Browne looked like a mouse caught in a trap.  
  
At that moment Mrs Browne came back with the tea. She was a very sweet old lady and Jack and Rachel both felt sorry for her. She chatted away as she served the tea, "Has Matty given you the advice you needed yet? He was very successful in his job, he only quit so he could come and look after me. You know he was working with the police in Victoria. It was to do with psychiatry and prisoners. I never understood, but of course you would know, because otherwise why would you be asking his advice?"  
All the time his grandmother was talking, Matthew was cringing and trying to get her to stop.   
  
Rachel was sick of the games, and she knew that this lady needed to find out sooner or later, so she tried to break it to her gently. "Aah, Mrs Browne, we're not actually here to ask Matthew's advice, we're here on a murder investigation."   
"Oh," Mrs Browne looked a little shocked, but wasn't too worried, "so you want some information?"  
"No. I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mrs Browne, but Matthew is our prime suspect." Jack spoke for the first time, and Goldie had to help Mrs Browne into a chair. She still proclaimed the innocence of her grandchild.   
"But Matty's never done anything wrong in his life."  
"Matthew never worked in psychiatry with the police. He was in prison in Victoria for rape and attempted murder." Goldie was afraid the old lady might have a heart attack, but she seemed all right - considering the news she had just received.  
  
"No." She looked over at Matthew with disbelief and with her eyes she pleaded with him to say that these detectives were lying. But he just dropped his head in shame. "Oh no! Oh Matty!"  
Jack took Mrs Browne out of the room and got Mick to look after her. Then they took Matthew Browne back to the station.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Goldie watched through the glass as Jack and Mick interviewed Matthew Browne. He admitted to raping and killing Clare Gordon and then dumping her body in the harbour.  
  
Rachel walked away in disgust. She couldn't stand to look at this guy anymore. She went outside to get some air. There she ran into Frank. She hadn't seen him all day because she had been out and he had been organising his house and car and things like that. They had a bit of a chat, but Goldie made sure they stayed away from any serious topics. So they talked about the weather, and Frank told her about his morning and Goldie told him that they'd caught the killer. Frank also mentioned in passing that he might be returning to the force.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Jack and Mick were just trying to get Matthew Browne to tell them why he did it, when Jack was called out of the interview. An informant of his had rung and said he had some information and it was urgent. Jack and Helen were discussing what to do.   
"Look," said Helen, "I'll help Mick finish of the interview with Browne, and you can get off to the park. Oh and take someone with you - for safety. And not Rachel - she's had enough excitement these past two days. She needs a rest."  
  
No one was available to go with Jack and he was about to give up and go by himself when Frank and Goldie came inside. The last thing Jack wanted was to spend time alone with Frank, but he knew that Helen had been wise in telling him to take a companion. You could never completely trust informants. He also agreed with Helen that Rachel needed a rest. So he put his jealousy to the back of his mind. "Oh, Frank. I was just going out to meet an informant, and I was wondering if you'd like to come along."  
"Ummm sure." said Frank. "I'll see you later Goldie."  
"Yeah, see ya Rach." Jack smiled and Rachel decided that her silly little thought before about him being jealous was definitely silly.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Goldie had a lot of paperwork that she should have been doing, but she felt too tired to try and tackle it. So she went back and watched Helen and Mick interview Matthew Browne. They were still trying to find out his reason for the rape and murder. Both Mick and Helen were getting very sick of playing games and were just about ready to shake it out of him.   
"Come on Matthew, give us a break. Just tell us." Helen had only been interviewing for about ten minutes, but this guy was so infuriating and just like everyone else she was ready to slap him.   
"Why did you rape and kill Detective Clare Gordon." Mick was almost shouting the question at Matthew and it worked, because he cracked.  
"I was hired to do it."  
"Hired," said Helen in disbelief. "So you're a hit-man now?"  
"No," he was now sobbing into his hands but no one felt sorry for him. "It was just a guy I knew in prison. And he always vowed that when he got out he'd kill all the cops that had ever put him away and any others that got in the way. He's got heaps of different plans so that all the murders look different. He was setting up heaps of meetings, pretending to be an informant. I owed him a favour and he just set up the meeting and all I had to do was go there and kill her. And he said I should rape her too, to make it more humiliating for her."  
  
Mick and Helen looked at each other. It seemed like a far-fetched story but it could be true. "Matthew, who is this man?" asked Mick.   
"Kenny Rushton," answered Matthew before he broke down completely.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Helen left Mick to look after the emotionally-distraught Matthew Browne. The name he had given sounded very familiar. She went to her computer, and Rachel followed her.   
"Right, Kenny Rushton. Well he was in the same prison as Browne."  
"So Matthew's story could be true." Rachel had also found the story a bit over the top, but in this business you never knew.  
"He's been convicted of every second crime in the book, mostly small stuff." said Helen as she went through the record. "He's been in and out of prison for years. If he kills everyone who has put him away, half the police force will be gone. And look at this one. Drugs in 1992, the arresting officer - Clare Gordon." Helen looked up at Rachel. "Browne was telling the truth after all."  
"What's that?" Rachel suddenly pointed to something on the screen. "That 1990 conviction."  
"Assault, July 1990, arresting officer" Helen paused, "Jack Christey."  
  
It only took half a second for this to sink in and both women looked at each other with horror.   
"Jack and Frank," said Rachel.  
"The meeting," Helen replied.  
Rachel was already running out of the room. "I'll get down to the park, you get some backup."   
  
~~~~~   
  
Goldie contemplated ringing Jack on his mobile, but she didn't want to risk it. She didn't know what sort of situation they were in. She arrived at the park and decided to go through the bush and try and suss out the situation.   
  
She walked silently through the bush around the park keeping well back so that she could see but no one could see her. As she looked across the park something on the other side caught her eye and she froze. In the bush on the other side she could see three men, a small distance apart, crouching down with guns aimed towards the middle of the park on the two unsuspecting targets - Frank and Jack.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Jack and Frank were walking around the middle of the park but they weren't going anywhere near the bush around the edge. Goldie had no idea how she was going to get them out of there. The gunmen were obviously waiting for some reason. Just watching and waiting.   
  
Frank and Jack were getting sick of waiting and decided that this was a waste of time. Goldie was beginning to think that maybe she was imagining this. The distance across the park was quite wide and she couldn't be sure that they were guns. Maybe it was just kids. But as Jack and Frank obviously started to leave the gunmen tensed up and Goldie knew that she hadn't been imagining anything. She also knew she had no time to lose. She went backwards into the thicker bush and then ran as fast as she could. Even though she was trying to work out a plan in her head she couldn't help noting that this was one of those times when a short skirt and heels were a bloody nuisance.   
  
She came to where she thought Frank and Jack would approximately be. As she crept closer to the edge of the bush she looked for the gunmen and saw that they were carefully taking aim. She didn't know how to warn her partners without getting them killed. Then the moment was upon her. She knew the gunmen were going to shoot any second now and even at that large distance she saw a finger move on the trigger. In that split second she had to make her choice.  
  
She saw the trigger finger move further and everything seemed to go into slow motion. She ran out from the bush, "Get down!" she yelled. Then she ran straight past Jack and flung herself in front of Frank. She felt something bite into her back and then she went unconscious.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Wake me when this game is over  
I'm drownin'  
Wake me when this game is over  
Take me away   
  
~~~~~   
  
The backup had arrived just before the shooting, and were moving through the bush when they heard gunshots straight in front of them. They realised they were almost right on top of the gunmen, and the situation was under control before there was time for anymore shots to be fired.   
  
Mick had arrived with the rest of the backup and when he saw Jack, Rachel and Frank fall to the ground he ran to them. When Goldie had yelled 'Get down!' Jack had done exactly that, and luckily he had only been shot in the arm.  
  
The man aiming at Frank had had perfect aim, and in the split second when Goldie had yelled, Frank had heard the gunshot and seriously thought that this was the end of him. Goldie had pushed him to the ground and after a couple of seconds he realised he felt no pain at all, he was fine. Then he realised Rachel was next to him and she wasn't moving. He sat up and in one horrific second he took in the scene before him.  
  
Goldie had thrown herself on Frank and when she went unconscious her body had rolled onto the grass. There Frank saw her lying on her front and in the back of her stylish grey suit he saw a bullet-sized hole and a widening patch around it slowly turning to a deep red. "Rachel," he whispered. His voice was hoarse but in that one word he expressed all his emotions that he had kept hidden for years. He just stared at her limp body.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Tell me that the game is over  
Tell me I'm dreamin'  
Tell me that this pain is over  
Just take me away   
  
~~~~~   
  
After checking that Jack was still alive, Mick had come over to Frank and Rachel and when he saw what Frank had seen his heartbeat seemed to stop. But he went into survival mode and automatically felt for her pulse. It was still there. It was very weak but it was there. The relief he felt was amazing. His hands were shaking as he called for an ambulance, but one had already been called and was just arriving. The paramedics took her away on a stretcher and the ambulance raced off to the hospital.   
  
Jack had been watching from where he had fallen and when Rachel's limp body was carried away, he went into shock. Jack was taken away in another ambulance, and Mick tried to help Frank. Frank was still sitting there staring at where Goldie's body had been and the blood stains on the grass. Mick helped him over to the car and they drove in silence to the hospital.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Frank had still not said a word. When Mick came back from checking on Jack, he said that everything was all right, but Frank just nodded as if in a dream. For hours they sat waiting in the hospital. At the end of the day Helen came to wait with them, except she couldn't keep still and she kept walking up and down the corridor.   
  
Helen, Frank and Mick waited in Jack's room because it was more comfortable than a hallway. In the early hours of the morning a nurse looked in to check on Jack and all four occupants of the room were sound asleep.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Wake me when the game is over  
I'm drownin'  
Wake me when this game, this game is over  
Please lead me home   
  
~~~~~   
  
When they awoke they all felt as if the day before had been a dream. When a nurse came in Frank said "Rachel?" which was the only word he had uttered since the previous afternoon. The whole hospital knew about the beautiful young detective who had been shot and her devoted colleagues. The nurse replied, "She's in intensive care. They've taken the bullet out, but it was so close to her spine. She's still on the danger list I'm sorry, but in all honesty the doctors are just not sure whether or not she'll pull through."  
  
Everyone in the room stayed silent, but the full impact of the words hit them all. They could lose their Rachel Goldstein. This woman, who's very presence demanded respect. She was feared by younger members of the force and loved by those who were able to get past her cool and composed mask.  
"Can we see her?" asked the ever-practical Helen.  
"Probably, later today."   
  
~~~~~   
  
I'm sure I could face  
The bitter cold  
But life without you  
I don't know   
  
~~~~~   
  
Not pull through? Jack thought about how he would ever live without his Rach, but when he looked over at Frank he felt that he had no right to claim Rachel as his own. She had never spoken to him about Frank but he had always felt a bit jealous. Jack had always thought it odd that she seemed to blot her former partner out of her mind. But when he saw how much Frank was suffering, Jack realised that these two had been more than partners. He knew they had been very good friends, and maybe it was too painful for Rachel to talk about, she preferred to keep it to herself. But deep down Jack knew now that Goldie's heart had always belonged to Frank. That was clear, especially because she had chosen to save Frank over himself. Jack had thought that he loved Rachel, and he did. But he knew he could never match the deep love that was evident in Frank's eyes.   
  
~~~~~   
  
All the time Frank just sat there. Going through his mind was every memory he had of his partnership with Goldie. They had laughed together, seen each other cry, and together they had gone through some of the most traumatic experiences of their lives. They knew each other intimately. They could pick each other's moods - they were not only partners but also best friends. They had spent so much time together. And now it could all be over. And Frank had only one regret.   
  
The only thing that had always been taboo between them was exactly that. Them. A relationship was never discussed and never had. They were partners and best friends, but that was all. There had been moments when their eyes would lock and Frank thought he could see right into Goldie's very soul; but then they would look away and the moment would be gone. Frank had always expressed his admiration for Goldie - that was only natural. She could tolerate that, but anything more was strictly not allowed, and that was Frank's regret. He had never told Rachel that he loved her.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Tell me that the game is over  
Take me, take me, take me, take me away  
Take me, take me, take me, take me away.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Late that afternoon the doctor came in looking very grave. "It's not looking good. She's still very much in danger. You can see her though, quietly - but talk to her. Even if she is in a coma, she should still be able to hear you. She may even respond - the most common way is a hand squeeze." He was about to leave, but he decided he had to be honest, "Make the most of it, I'm afraid it could be goodbye."  
  
All day Helen had been swamped with inquiries about Detective Goldstein, and after the doctor's comments she had a gut feeling about the whole situation, and it was not good. She decided to call all the Rats in so they could say their goodbyes.   
  
~~~~~   
  
I never thought I'd be the first  
To say our last goodbye  
And make you cry   
  
~~~~~   
  
All afternoon and evening Frank, Jack, Mick and Helen sat by Goldie's bed. Tommy, Gavin and Tayler came in and stayed for a while. They had also been told to talk to Rachel as though she was alive and well, even though this was the final goodbye. Each said their goodbye whilst still trying to be cheerful. It was hard - especially because they were talking to a body where the only sign of life was from the heart monitor.  
"Bye," said Gavin, "we'll see you round some time." Then he quickly left the room and everyone knew how he felt.   
"You'd better get well soon, they're not going to do too well without you," Tommy forced a smile, but it didn't last long.   
"Get better, Detective Goldstein, otherwise we'll miss you," as the tears streamed down her face, Tayler kissed Goldie's cheek and then hurried from the room.   
  
Dave and Woodsy came in not long after and their goodbyes were along the same lines as the last group.   
Emma smiled with her mouth, but her eyes were full of sorrow. "We'll see you when you get back, don't take too long."  
"Yeah Rachel, you'd better get back before the whole of Sydney is taken over by crime," Dave tried to be his natural self, but at the last minute he bent down and kissed Goldie gently on the hand.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Close the door  
Shut the world away  
All the fight's gone  
From this wounded heart  
Across the floor  
Dreams and shadows play  
Like wind blown refugees   
  
~~~~~   
  
Through the evening none of Rachel's four companions could bear to leave the room. They stayed with Goldie and forced themselves to talk to her. They were sure they had exhausted every topic they could think of. Weather, sport, current affairs, the stock market, literature, television and they were trying to joke about hospital food when Jeff came along. He looked down at Rachel and shook his head. "You're a great detective, Rachel. You work pretty hard. And now you're a hero too. I think you need some rest, we won't expect you back for a while." But there he stopped because even he couldn't say any more. He looked around the room, said a stiff goodbye and left. The others sat in an awkward silence.   
  
They all knew they would have to say their goodbyes now, they thought they would never manage it, but somehow they did. Mick took a deep breath and got up and walked over to the bed. "Well Goldie, I wish I'd got to know you better. It's been great working with you. I'll miss it. You're quite an inspiring detective. Always working hard. So you'd better recover and come back to us all." But he choked on his words as tears filled his eyes. He stood staring at her attractive face, which he had only ever seen express real emotion when her son had been kidnapped. Her face was usually either full of fun or very serious or questioning, but now it was still and spiritless. Mick kissed her forehead and walked out without looking back.   
  
Helen knew it was her turn now, but she didn't think she could handle it. Rachel had been the only colleague she could really talk to. They had been pretty good friends. Suddenly Helen could no longer keep it up and in a rare moment of vulnerability she knelt by the bed and sobbed into the sheets. When Helen had regained her composure, Goldie received another kiss and it took all Helen's strength to keep calm as she whispered, "Goodbye Rachel."   
  
~~~~~   
  
Somehow I feel alive  
But a part of me is dyin'  
And I can feel the pain  
And somewhere deep inside  
A part of me is cryin'  
Just cryin' out your name   
  
~~~~~   
  
The two men were left sitting on either side of the bed. Jack knew he should go next, but he didn't know how to say goodbye to this, the woman he most respected in the whole world. He looked at her for a long time. He remembered how much he had admired her when they had first met. And all his flirting and all the times she said she would never sleep with him again. They had been good together. "Rach," his voice was hoarse and filled with sadness. "I guess we've had our good times and our bad times. I know I haven't worked with you that long, but I've enjoyed it. You know I think you're great, but" His voice trailed off. He kissed her delicately on the lips, "Bye, Rach" and he was gone.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Somewhere I'll dream of you  
Somewhere where dreams come true   
  
~~~~~   
  
Frank had the last goodbye, but just as he was getting up out of his chair. A little boy came through the door. He looked like he had been crying for a very long time, but now he was calm, he had done all his crying. He walked over to the bedside. His sentences were short and between each he had to take many big breaths. "Hi Mummy, it's David The doctor said you probably won't wake up again, but that you can hear me anyway Please don't worry about me, I'm going to be fine I'll miss you, but I'll always remember the happy times we had I won't forget you." He sat there for a long time just holding his mother's hand and looking at her face - learning it by heart. He gave her a big but gentle kiss, and said his farewell as the tears started to come back. "I love you mummy. Goodbye."   
  
~~~~~   
  
If you look into my eyes  
I love you though I'm leavin'  
I want to hold you tight  
Don't ever compromise  
And never stop believin'  
Believin' we were right   
  
~~~~~   
  
Frank knelt by the bed and held onto Rachel's hand. It was already late at night but he sat there for what seemed like hours, talking to his Goldie, reminiscing about the old times. The drinks they had had together, the hours they had sat doing surveillance, the hundreds of cases they had solved - and the few they hadn't. The scary times they had had, the fights, the long nights. Then he knew it was time to go. He kissed her tenderly. "I love you Rachel Goldstein, I always have." And Frank felt Goldie squeeze his hand. Not just a little muscle spasm, it was a tight squeeze. As she released her grip, heart monitors and alarms went off everywhere. The nurses came in and turned them off, and left Frank cradling the body and still holding on to the hand of his Goldie.   
  
~~~~~   
  
Somewhere I'll dream of you  
Somewhere where dreams come true  
I know, I know I'll dream of you  
Somewhere where dreams come true.   
  
~~~~~   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: I didn't write the prologue - it's taken from the sleeve of the Water Rats CD. The quotes are from songs by the following people (in order of appearance)  
J Goldman & P Galdston; A Nova & P Barbeau; Ben Fold's Five; Bachelor Girl; Water Rats soundtrack (x3); J Goldman & J Kapler & P Galdston; Water Rats soundtrack (x2); A Hill & P Sinfield; Water Rats soundtrack (x4).  
  
  
  
  
feedback - erinwilson@trump.net.au  
  



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